2014-15 PLAYOFF COVERAGE

WOMBATS WIN 27-24 IN OT TO TAKE SIXTH CHAMPIONSHIP!

2013-14 PLAYOFF COVERAGE

YIKES! SUPER BLUNDER ' BATS LOSE TO SAINTS 50-32

'BATS KNOCKOFF JETS IN WC

2012-13 PLAYOFF COVERAGE

	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	OT	Score
(15-4) Redskins	14	14	3	7	-	38
(19-0) Wombats	7	17	7	14	-	45

PERFECTION 19-0! SUPERBOWL CHAMPS AGAIN

2011-12 PLAYOFF COVERAGE

WOMBATS BEAT GIANTS TO WIN SUPERBOWL 41-21

	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	OT	Score
(15-4) Giants	3	3	0	14	-	21
(17-2) Wombats	0	10	14	17	-	41

The result the same as the other three seasons, a superbowl championship has graced the banks of the ol' Hoboken river - or something like that. Hoboken used an explosive passing game while pulling away from the Giants in the second half to claim the Lombardi trophy yet again. Hoboken opened up a 24-6 lead heading to the fourth but the precision passing game of Bob Devlin and the running games of Johnny Stemmler and Tubby Fatass proved to powerful. "The organization is young and we see a chance to make this a dynasty" mentioned an elated Bill Donner. Veteran Steve Largent was proud as well "We beat a heck of a football team out there and it's a great day to be a Wombat fan". Despite the lack of media coverage the Hoboken squad overcame adversity and played sixty minutes of hard-nosed football. Coach Fots was seen doing shots early in the fourth quarter. "No disrespect to the New York Giants, but we were up by like 20 points so it was party time on the sideline" Fots added "We deserve it". The NFL will review the situation and the Wombats could face a fine. The Wombats will rest up and get ready for next season. Getting back to this point will be a challenge but owner Louie Louie says we will be back here next year.

HOBOKEN HOSTS AFC CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST JAGS

2010-11 PLAYOFF COVERAGE

HOBOKEN DEFENDS TITLE 31-21 OVER GIANTS

This year the team defense allowed the fewest points in history. Running Back John Stemmler told reporters "Next season starts today - now let's have a Rheingold you silly whores". Three-peat? don't say that now coach Fots wants to make it to the next day. Fots told reporters that he's a "functioning alcoholic". The press started to laugh at him and told him to "suck it up". The team will get ready for the NFL draft and team owner Louie Louie will most likely make some changes.

	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	OT	Score
(14-5) Giants	0	7	7	7	-	21
(15-4) Wombats	14	7	0	10	-	31

1st Quarter
(7-0) 10 yd. run by Fatass at 2:39
(14-0) 53 yd. pass from Devlin to P.Fancy at 0:13

2nd Quarter
(14-7) 2 yd. pass from Harrington to McKenzie at 3:16
(21-7) 6 yd. pass from Devlin to P.Fancy at 0:08

3rd Quarter
(21-14) 5 yd. pass from Harrington to McKenzie at 2:03

4th Quarter
(28-14) 10 yd. pass from Devlin to Largent at 3:46
(28-21) 18 yd. interception return by Robertson at 2:00
(31-21) 26 yd. field goal by N.Cody at 0:05

2009-10 PLAYOFF COVERAGE IN REVIEW

WOMBATS WIN THE BIG ONE OVER NY!

The Hoboken Wombats won their second championship with a 28-21 vic tory over the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLIV. The sold out Oakland Coliseum roared when the Giants took an early 7-0 lead when T.J. Duckett ran the ball in from seven yards. John Stemmler countered on a toss from Bob Devlin, running the ball in from 11 yards tying the score at 7. Johnny K. Stemmler came through again on an 8 yard dash to the end zone putting Hoboken up 14-7. However, Quarterback Leo Haninczak propelled the Giants to a halftime lead when he connected with his favorite receiver Gus McKenzie twice. The first score was a pass from 4 yards out and then from 52, Giving the Giants a 21-14 advantage. Then the second half came and it was a different story. The Hoboken defense shut down anything that New York had to offer. Wombats Quarterback Bob Devlin was on his A-game when with 3:18 left in the game he found a wide open Paul Fancy to knot the game up at 21. After a defensive stand, Hoboken started a drive that would end up clinching the Superbowl. Used primarily for the running game half-back Tubby Fatass (Fa-tass) broke several tackles and stumbled into the end zone from 14 yard out, giving Hoboken the lead and eventual victory 28 to 21. Haninczak drove the Giants down to the Wombats 38 yard line, but time expired or so everyone thought. One fan pretending to be a cheerleader (a wombattie) ran on the field with five seconds left delaying the ending. Security used a stun gun. When that was unsuccessful they had to use a weapon. The unidentified woman was shot 18 times, however all eighteen shots missed vital organs and she is recovering fine at St. Lipshultz of the Dandy Miracle in Sea Girt New Jersey where her condition is labeled as 'Almost Okay'. Learning of this incident the Wombat organization has offered the woman a position on the cheerleading squad. "She is doing well, all we need to do now is reattach her knee caps and things are a go" said Dr. Richard Rosenpenis. After the two hour delay, the last five seconds ran off the clock and Hoboken won their second championship. "We are thrilled at winning, however if I was security I would have probably used a grenade on her". Added a jubilant Dan Dehn. Johnny Stemmler was named MVP. Stemmler said "I do not deserve this award, oh wait I did rush for two touchdowns of course I deserve this and YOUR WELCOME!"
1st Quarter
(0-7) 7 yd. run by Duckett at 2:17
(7-7) 11 yd. run by J.Stemmler at 1:03

2nd Quarter
(14-7) 8 yd. run by J.Stemmler at 4:26
(14-14) 4 yd. pass from Haninczak to McKenzie at 1:28
(14-21) 52 yd. pass from Haninczak to McKenzie at 0:26

3rd Quarter
"When I tackle you it will hurt like a bitch slap" - Salty Dog Dan Dehn

4th Quarter
(21-21) 15 yd. pass from Devlin to P.Fancy at 3:18
(28-21) 14 yd. run by T.Fatass at 0:32

Good News! Six Wombats have been selected for the Pro-Bowl...They are: QB-Bob Devlin, CB-Habu Patelababba, FB-Tubby Fatass, WR-Garth Iorg, TE-Paul Fancy, CB-Martin Pussystench.

WOMBATS ADVANCE TO SUPER BOWL

In a driving snow storm the Hoboken Wombats won the AFC championship for the fourth time in franchise history following a 24-14 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs in a sold out Marsupial Bowl. The Wombats were led by a rugged defense which forced five turnovers. For the Chiefs, Michael Vick was held at bay throwing four interceptions (2 each picked off by Martin Pussystench & Habu Patelababba). In the first quarter there was a brief scare when Pro-Bowl quarterback Bob Devlin seemed to twist his ankle. In his replacement Bill Donner drove the Wombats down to the Chiefs' 22 yard line when he found wide receiver Steve Largent wide open in the end zone giving Hoboken a 7-0 lead. Devlin came back in the second quarter. The game would be tied at halftime 7-7. Garth Iorg provided third quarter magic making a remarkable 52 yard touchdown catch giving the 'bats the lead again. Vick made things interesting when Tre Forrest had caught the tying touchdown, making the score 14-all. With both teams tiring in a cold and snowy day, the drive to the superbowl began at the Wombat-29 yard line. Hoboken had all three time outs and they would need them. Bob Devlin in 6 plays brought the Wombats to the 21 yard line with 1:19 left. Paul Fancy (which had 5 receptions in the game) caught the AFC Championship game winner giving the Wombats a 21-14 lead. The Wombats would recover a Chiefs fumble on the ensuing kickoff securing the win. "This is a great feat for us and now we play the best team (Giants) but we will show them who is the best, for now I need a brew" added Coach Fots. In the victory Paul Fancy caught his 100th TD pass for his career, Bob Devlin threw for 217 yards with 2 TD's and 2 INT's. The Chiefs had an impressive game from receiver Terrell Owens (6 receptions - 133 yards - 1 TD). The party begins and hopefully will end with a super bowl win!

WOMBATS ADVANCE TO AFC CHAMPIONSHIP, NEXT KC!

The Wombats advanced to the AFC Championship by squeaking by Tom Brady and the Houston Texans with a 31-28 victory at the Marsupial Bowl last night. Quarterback Bob Devlin was flawless throwing for three touchdown passes and 262 yards. On the other side Texans' QB Tom Brady was near perfect too. Brady threw four touchdown passes and near 300 yards, but it was not enough. Houston took a 21-7 lead midway through the second quarter. A touchdown catch by Garth Iorg and a field goal by the reliable Nicole Cody cut Houston's lead to 21-17 at halftime. The Wombats took a brief lead when Johnny "Bluejeans" Stemmler ran the ball in from the 1 yard line late in the third quarter, but the Texans responded driving the length of the field ending with a 19 yard touchdown pass to Joe White giving Houston a lead, 28-24. Hoboken finally won the seesaw battle with a late fourth quarter rally when Devlin eluded several defenders and found Garth Iorg from six yards out securing a 31-28 win and sending the Wombats to their fourth AFC Championship game in franchise history. The Kansas City Chiefs stand in the way to the road to the Super Bowl.

2008-09 SEASON IN REVIEW

HOBOKEN HEARTBREAK AS JETS WIN 17-10

(Week 16) Before the game began the Wombats knew their fate. With Cleveland and Jacksonville winning, Hoboken was finished for the 2009 campaign. Three straight losses have fans stunned and heartbroken. "We needed bounces and we didn't get any, the only bouncy thing we will do in the off-season is look at videotapes ...of Pam Anderson" mentioned coach Fots at the year end press conference. "It is all too familiar" said wide receiver Steve Largent "Next year will be a chance to get it together". Tubby Fatass said drinking has relaxed him. "It has been stressful, but Rolling Rock has put me in the right frame of mind." Hoboken wrapped up the campaign at 8-8 same story, same ending. The Wombats led early but it was not enough in the 17-10 loss to the Jets. The offseason will bring some interesting moves. Paul Legutko of the Newark Star Ledger claims that Hoboken may be the dark horse to be in the Super Bowl in 2010. "This team can be dangerous with a excellent passing game and running game - the defense is the question mark like Teri Hatcher - are those real?". Keep tuned!

(Week 15) St. Louis 13, WOMBATS 10 (8-7)

(Week 14) SEATTLE 24, Wombats 20 (8-6)

HOBOKEN DELAYS THE PITTSBURGH PARTY 21-19.

(Week 13) Hoboken NJ (AP) - A packed house at the Marsupial Bowl saw the Hoboken Wombats knock off division leading Pittsburgh 21-19 yesterday. With three games left the Steelers still lead the standings by two more wins. However, there was no victory party at Hoboken yesterday.

The Wombats took the opening drive and converted it into a six play three minute scamper ending with a spectacular catch by All-Pro candidate Garth Iorg from Bob Devlin giving the Wombats a 7-0 lead. Pittsburgh's Martin Grammatica put three points on the board midway through the second quarter cutting the lead to 7-3. Hoboken responded with the same type of drive like the first score. This time Garth Iorg caught a 13 yard pass in the deep part of the end zone, putting the Wombats up 14-3. After stopping the Steelers on the next drive the Wombats threw an interception. At first it looked very costly because the Steelers started their drive at the Hoboken 10 yard line. However the Wombat defense hung tough and Pittsburgh was forced to get only a field goal. Going to the locker room the Wombats held a 14-6 lead. I t looked like smooth sailing from then on when Steve Largent caught his seventh touchdown pass this season putting Hoboken up by 15 points, 21-6 with only 4:20 left in the game. It turned out that they would need every single point because the Steelers would make a late rally. Pitt QB Will Jones would strike twice to Luke Johnson and Shaun Spriggs. However on Jones first touchdown the Steelers were unable to convert the two point conversion, which made the difference. Making the final Hoboken 21, Pittsburgh 19. After the victory the team seemed to put last weeks disappointment behind them and still have hopes on winning the AFC North. "We have won six of eight games and both losses were in overtime, I think we are ready to get back in the post season" mentioned an elated coach Fots. "We still need to work on putting teams away and better clock management but that will come in time". Coach Fots knows all to well what happened last season. At this time last year the Wombats were also 8-5, however back to back losses put them out of playoff contention, this year hopes to be different. "We are a team that fights for every win, excuse me I have something rolling down my leg" said Paul Fancy. Half-Back Tubby Fatass told the media that he seems more focused because he is eating more cheese then ever before. "My all-carb diet is working" mentioned Fatass (pronounced Fah-tass) "I've gained 43 pounds in two days, when Sunday rolls around I plan on losing 40 of those pounds, it helps me run better and also running from the cops keeps me in game-shape". Game notes - Douglas Dildo may sit out of next weeks game because he is religious and does not want to hurt his left foot pinky. Quarterback Bill Donner's rap album will be released to the public next week. Donner has not asked for time off to promote the album but said it was "fly-phat". Sen. John Kerry may be interested in playing on the team, an inside source from Washington said Kerry was a bit upset over the outcome of the election and wants to "break some heads" on the field. No ideas on when or what position he might play if signed. Fan appreciation day is coming in two weeks against the Rams. Every ticket holder will get a shot glass courtesy of Coach Fots. The coach has 60,000 shot glasses at home but wants to cut down "on the hooch" and wants to give them away because he wants to stop passing out. Good going coach! Unfortunately for Fots we have seen him smoking cigars on the side lines. Hooray for new habits.

WOMBATS BLOW THEMSELVES AFTER DEPRESSING LOSS 41-35 TO BRONCOS

(Week 12) Hoboken NJ (AP) \endash A fourth quarter collapse and a questionable play calling move may have cost the Wombats a shot at a division title. Winning by a 21-3 margin, Hoboken was unable to put away the Denver Broncos. What made the loss painful was that the Wombats lost the lead only to tie it in the final seconds of regulation 35-35. Hoboken won the toss in the extra session and decided to receive. Paul Fancy who had a career high 13 receptions caught was seemed to be the winning catch to set up a Nicole Cody field goal at the Denver 16 yard line. However the Wombats decided to run one more play which ended up a disaster. Devlin and Tubby Fatass has some miscommunication and a run turned into a fumble which was recovered by the Broncos. Three plays later Denver connected on a 68-yard touchdown pass for the victory. The ball just sailed over a diving Habu Patelababba into the arms of the Bronco receiver which ended the game 41-35. Denver kept slim hopes alive for a wild card spot, while the Wombats remained three games behind Pittsburgh in the race for the division. Hoboken leads the wild card race despite the loss. After the game corner back George Carlin was visually upset. "This is stinky it smells so bad, I want to punch myself in the face, it is painful but really smelly". Newcomer Newt Nutsack thought the loss was funny. "When you find creative ways to lose it can be whimsical, just like my pecker full of whimsy". Coach Fots did fine Nutsack 1 million dollars for those comments. Nutsack said that he will have to sell his home and move into an apartment because he cannot afford the high fine. The coach explained himself better. "I like the quote by Nutsack but he cannot be talking about his manhood to reporters, I on the other hand can - and I have a good one". Next week the Steelers - who can clinch the AFC North with a win over the Wombats.

(Week 11) WOMBATS 24 (7-4), Baltimore 21 (ot)

(Week 10) Wombats 38 (6-4), CLEVELAND 21

(Week 9) Wombats 24 (5-4) , JACKSONVILLE 21

(Week 8) PITTSBURGH 30, Wombats 24(4-4)(ot)

(Week 7) WOMBATS 31 (4-3), Cleveland 28

VICTORY! AS TIME RUNS OUT 'BATS PREVAIL 34-31 OVER FISH

(Week 6) HOBOKEN, NJ (AP) -- All week long, Binkus Fots kept telling his defense it could keep pace with the high-scoring Miami Dolphins. It turns out the Hoboken coach was wrong , but a victory was in store anyway, thank God.

"Everybody was talking about us as an offense. It was our offense vs. their offense not our defense," cornerback Habu Patelababba said after the Wombats came from behind twice and held off the potent Dolphins 34-31 Sunday. Devlin was 17 for 27 throwing for four touchdowns, and 369 yards, to give the Bats (3-3) the win to stop a two game losing streak.

"Coach told us to keep quiet and just go in there and do what we've got to do and show everybody w e're for real, too," Devlin said. The Dolphins (2-5) totaled 101 points and 1,130 yards in victories over Atlanta and Indianapolis the previous two weeks, and put up another big day statistically despite playing much of the second half without star running back Calvin Kochinasse. It became the Garth Iorg and Steve Largent show in the second and fourth quarters. Largent caught three touchdown passes, for 132 yards total. While his teammate and pal Garth Iorg has four receptions and one touchdown. The Dolphins started out quickly, bulding a 21-10 lead at halftime. However the Wombats finally caught up and took the lead with 1:17 left in the game 27-24 on a 39 yard field goal by Nicole Cody who is hot. But Miami did not give in either when quarterback Byron McCarty threw a 45 yard pass to McGrady giving the Dolphins a 31-27 lead with only 35 seconds left.

Hoboken was desperate knowing a loss would put them at 2-4, Bob Devlin started the rally with no time outs. Two completed passes, one to Paul Fancy and one to Steve Largent put the ball at the Dolphins 28 yard line with 12 seconds to play. Devlin rushed to the line and tossed a hail mary to the left portion of the end zone and Hoboken's Garth Iorg came down with the pigskin giving Hoboken a 34-31 win with no time left on the clock.

"It is good when you try" said Hoboken QB Bob Devlin. "I had no time outs, and I tried and we won now it is time to focus on a coffee coolata or a nice beverage would be great, I am parched". The Wombats will host Cleveland next week. All fans who come get a free garbage bag and thong courtesy of Acme.

WOMBATS FALL TO CARDS IN OT 40-34 - THE RED SOX OF FOOTBALL?

(Week 5) PHOENIX (UPI) - In a rare occurrence the Wombats were getting crushed 34-13 by the Cardinals in the late stages of the third quarter. Meanwhile in baseball the Yankees took a three games to none lead over the rival Boston Red Sox in the ALCS. But something happened on the way to the finish on both of these games and series. You see team character began to shine. In Arizona the Wombats cut into the lead 34-20, then cornerback Chris Fama stopped the Cardinals late drive with an interception, less than a minute later Bob Devlin drove Hoboken to another score cutting the lead to 34-27. Meanwhile across the nation in Boston the Red Sox were making a comeback of their own. David Ortiz and some clutch relief pitching pulled the series even, three games a piece. Back in Arizona the Wombats had one more chance with :29 seconds left. Paul Fancy was open and caught the catch for a touchdown to tie the score 34-34. Both teams in two different sports pulled together and earned something for themselves. That was pride. The Wombats could have packed it in but instead rallied the same goes for the Red Sox. However the ending was not sweet at least for one team. A 'questionable' fumble in the overtime period ended a great comeback. Hoboken would go on to lose 40-34. The Red Sox ..well we will find out in several hours. Either way tomorrow will be soon and both teams will move on. But in the end character and determination won no matter what the result. In a sidenote: Coach Fots was not upset over the loss. He told reporters after the game "Soon I will be half crocked and won't even remember this one"...and by the way the Red Sox won game 7.

OOPSY A LOSS TO THE PATS 31-21

(Week 4) HOBOKEN, NJ. (AP) - Drew Brees lost a fumble and his helmet -- but not the game.

Brees recovered from that fumble and a costly interception by throwing a long completion in the closing minutes, giving the Patriots a 31-21 win over the Hoboken Wombats on Sunday. "It's not like we say, 'All right, guys, let's go out and make the play' and (we) make the play friggin play" Brees said. "At the same time, our team has a lot of confidence that when we get in these type of games we're going to make the plays to win if not we will lose like a stripper who doesn' t get paid."

The Wombats (2-2) fell behind 24-14 on Bobby Akers 30-yard field goal, with 1:02 to go in the third quarter. "I knew we had time to come back but it hurts when you throw the ball silly", Devlin said. ``The interception I threw did not cost us the game only the rest of the team did and the fact that our squad is hurting from bruised pinkies, paper cuts and soreness from enemas - we will be back".

For the first time this season, the Patriots beat a team that was not winless. But the Wombats came into the game beating the Ravens last week and were poised to make a statement against the Pats. In the fourth quarter, Abu Muhammad ran 26 yards for a touchdown with 1:51 left sealing the victory, making the score 31-14. The Wombats tacked on a late score when rookie Jon DiGiacomo came into the game driving the team down the field and found Paul Fancy in the end zone for a score making the final 31-21.

The Wombats Bob Devlin, intercepted just twice in his first three games, threw two interceptions on Hoboken\rquote s first two series. New England scored on three straight possessions in the second quarter and led 21-14 at halftime. "More the confusion factor and that my coaching staff was more concerned on where we should go to dinner later", Coach Fots said, "I thought what affected us was the physical play of their linebackers and defensive backs also my case of the runs".

The Patriots, who haven't lost since the first week of the season, set the overall winning-streak record -- which includes playoffs -- with two straight wins. Just kidding that's not a record, just wanted to keep the readers alert.

New England kept pressuring Devlin, the son of Mr. Devlin -- who played tight end for the Patriots back in the day. The Pats' Rodney Harris intercepted Devlin's pass and ran back 82 yards for a touchdown and gave New England an early lead. "Sometimes you win and other times you lose but what matters is how you lose. Finding different ways to lose is fun, maybe next week we'll blow a 30 point lead" said Wombat wide receiver Steve Largent. I think he was being a bit scarastic. Anyhow the Wombats play the Cards next week. I smell trouble!

BACK ON TRACK, WOMBATS WIN 21-18 OVER RAVENS

(Week 3) Baltimore MD (AP) - There are smiling people back in New Jersey this week. Did the Wombats make them smile? Well the answer to that is not really. Team orthodontist Mitchell Karl gave the squad a free teeth cleaning before the trip down to Baltimore. "We feel that our clean teeth was the margin of victory yesterday" said coach Fots. Hoboken used their teeth and a running game for a 21-18 victory over division rival Baltimore. The score was a bit misleading. The Wombats led 21-10 and were driving for another score but a late turnover made the game too close for comfort. Touchdown runs by Fatass and Johnny "Bluejeans" Stemmler plus a TD pass from Bobby D to Fancy totaled the scoring for Hoboken. Despite only completing eight passes Bob Devlin threw for almost 200 yards. "The arm was a bit tired" said Bob Devlin. "Next time will be different, I will take care of these punks" added Bob. The game was stopped early in the second quarter when a female spectator ran on to the field wearing a t-shirt with no pants, she had a sign that read "Free Puffy". She was taken off the field and arrested. The unidentified woman wanted to become a Wombat cheerleader. However after a review - although she was crazy which is a good charactistic she did not meet the D-cup standard. After the game Hoboken moved Left Guard Bob Harvey to the Ravens for Derrick Murphy. Murphy was a used car salesman before signing onto the Ravens this season. When asked about being traded to the Wombats Murhpy replied "Me play". Hoboken takes on New England next week.

LAST SECOND MELTDOWN, WOMBATS LOSE HOME OPENER 20-17

(Week 2) HOBOKEN (AP) - The Hoboken Wombats were 39 seconds away from a 17 to 13 win. Everything was going well. Bobby Devlin connected with Garth Iorg to put the home crowd in a frenzy. Until....doom struck. The doom was the 49'ers third down at the Hoboken 12 yard line. San Francisco's QB (Matt Soloman) threw a floater into the hands of Brian McCreary to turn a certain home victory into a disapointing defeat, 20-17. "The games was ours" mentioned a dejected coach Fots. "When the tough get going, the tough drink and I'm headed to the Brunswick Grove now" added Wombat rookie Newt Nutsack. Wide receiver Garth Iorg looked at the bright side, "Well odds are many people can't access this site because of the data transfer situation, I think it's a bit odd that the bandwidth gets full when only 5 people a day reach our website, so the good news is that some people might not know we lost". In a team quirk, the Hoboken squad has won more games on the road than at home over the past four years. The trend will need to come to an end if the Wombats are to get back to the playoffs this season. One bright spot was the running game. Devlin, Fatass and J.Stemmler ran for a total of over a hundred yards. The Wombats will be in Baltimore next week. TEAM NOTES: Tight end Mark DiGiacomo will not wear a helmet to next weeks game, citing that helmets "take the edge off". The NFL has allowed players to use cell phones during a live play. Thomas Zigray caught his first pass as a Wombat. Zigray the team's punter caught a 39 yard pass vs. the 49'ers. Wombattie Zippy Underpants will be at the local Hoboken K-Mart next week auctioning off used underwear.

A BIT OF EVERYTHING IN 31-28 VICTORY OVER BILLS

(Week 1) Orchid Park NY (AP) - The Hoboken Wombats struck early a nd often en route to a 31-28 victory over the Buffalo Bills yesterday at a brisk, rainy Orchid Park. Bob Devlin was in mid-season form throwing two touchdown passes and the help of Habu Patelababba who picked off Buffalo QB Peyton Manning twice early in the game. After winning the coin toss, the Wombats vaulted out to a 7-0 lead when Bob Devlin connected with wide receiver Steve Largent from 18 yards out, the drive was 10 plays and covered 72 yards. With a driving rainstorm, cornerback Habu Patelababba put the Wombats up by 14 with an interception return seconds later. LaDainian Tomlinson however began the Buffalo comeback. Trailing in the third quarter, Tomlinson ran for two touchdowns, turning a 21-7 deficit into a tied game. That would be the beginning of a nailbiter. Both teams exchanged touchdowns, setting the stage for the heroics of Nicole Cody. With seconds remaining Cody kicked a 22-yard field goal securing an opening day victory for the Wombats 31-28. After the battle coach Fots was extremely happy with the win. "We fought hard, I did get nervous and when that happens I like to smell my own armpits or make loud noises with my ass, today I did both" mentioned Coach Fots. A brief scare occurred when back-up center Antonio Nippletwist lost his head during a play late in the third quarter. The Wombat training staff reattached the head with Elmer's glue and staples. Nippletwist returned in the fourth quarter. Paul Fancy who has been hindered with a nagging paper cut injury is almost 100% healed. Paul told reporters that the cut is healing nicely and wished the best for (referring to Nippletwist) In an opening day Buffalo tradition, when the visitors are introduced fans usually throw snow at the players, this year fans used rocks as a replacement. No one was injured. A fan commented "Hey there was no snow so I did my best, I'm sorry I didn't hit anyone". The Wombats return home to face the San Francisco 49'ers next week for the season's home opener.

2007-08 SEASON IN REVIEW

2006-07 SEASON IN REVIEW

SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS! THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM! WOMBATS BEAT GREEN BAY 24-21, IORG NAMED MVP!

SUPERBOWL	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	OT	Score
(16-4) Wombats	7	3	0	14	-	24
(15-4) Packers	0	0	0	21	-	21

1st Quarter
HOB - 4 yd. pass from Devlin to G.Iorg at 0:37

2nd Quarter
HOB - 20 yd. FG by N.Cody at 0:58

3rd Quarter
No Scoring

4th Quarter
GB - 92 yard interception return by Smith at 4:43
GB - 1 yd. run by E.George at 3:43
HOB - 50 yd. pass from Devlin to G.Iorg at 3:16
HOB - 25 yd. pass from Devlin to G.Iorg at 2:31
GB - 37 yd. pass from Favre to Maddox at 1:53

Overtime
Guess who's won the SUPERBOWL....The Wombats... of course! Oops I cut one! again!

Would the third straight y ear finally be the charm for coach Binkus Fots and his Wombats? Yes it finally did happen! The Hoboken Wombats won their first Superbowl knocking off Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers 24 to 21. A sold out Tampa, Florida stadium saw Wombat wide receiver Garth Iorg steal the show catching three touchdown passes from Bob Devlin. The Hoboken defense shut down the Packers for three straight quarters until the fourth. With the Wombats leading 10-0 and about to score, the Packers defense made a game of it. Bob Devlin threw a pass that was intercepted and returned by Packer Ronald Smith 92 yards, cutting the lead to 10-7. After another Hoboken turnover Green Bay took the lead when Eddie George scored from one yard out. The Packers looked like they were about to take control of the game leading 14-10 with only three minutes to go. That is when the magic of Garth Iorg came into play. Using his 7 ft, 415 pound frame, Iorg eluded several tackles after catching a Bob Devlin fifty yard bomb and ran in for a touchdown. The Wombats padded the lead again after a costly Packer fumble. Once again the combination of Iorg/Devlin worked and the Wombats led 24-14. Brett Favre (you know him from the hit movie "There's Something About Mary") threw a late touchdown pass to Darryl Maddox making the final score 24-21. Coach Fots let Quarterbacks Bill "Knuckles" Donner and Pepe Pussye take several snaps near the end of the game. "It was nice to see everyone get a chance to participate in our championship" said Paul Fancy who made two catches in the game. "We are going streaking, oh wait I'm naked already" said a numb coach Fots. Police chased down the naked coach on the football field for several minutes, he was arrested for public lewdness but released from a Tampa Bay prison a few hours later. Wombat Chris Fama told reporters "This is something you can tell your kids or at least the family dog about years later". Brian Blueballs had a different outlook "I did not get a chance to play but this is much better than having rectal surgery". Garth Iorg who was named Superbowl MVP was too shy to talk with the media, however he is proud to be a Wombat, a fan of Snoop Doggy Dogg and a fan of the sock puppet called "Lamb Chop". Quarterback Bob Devlin said "We deserve this championship, people gave us little chance to beat the Packers, but I thought we could win because we have heart, just like Carrot Top - he is a funny son-of-a-bitch". Nicole Cody kicked a field goal to give the Wombats an early lead, she told the media "I stretch, and I kick...and I'm a kicker, it's like being a bear, you know what I mean". The loss was disappointing to Packer fans. Many of them rioted in the streets of Wisconsin after the game, throwing cheese. No injuries were reported, just the odor of munster could be smelled throughout the city of Green Bay. Can Hoboken repeat? We will find out as the 2007-08 Wombats prepare to defend the title!!! Go Wombats!

SUPERBOWL BOUND! WOMBATS SHOCK CHIEFS IN FINAL SECONDS 32-31

SUPERBOWL - HOBOKEN TAKES ON GREEN BAY, MARCH 4th 11:45pm!

Kansas City had the game in hand. With about one minute and change left the Chiefs had the ball and the lead 28-25. QB Michael Vick got a critical first down on a great pass to Fred Taylor moving the ball into Wombat territory. Kansas City decided to kneel on the ball, the Wombats used their final timeout. After two kneel downs, it brought up third down. Hoboken could only do one thing to stop the clock and that was to take a penalty. With 49 seconds left Kansas City had fourth down and two. The Chiefs decided to kick a field goal, it was good (not only good, but a 54-yarder) Believe it or not, that kick might have cost Kansas City a trip to the Superbowl. The Wombats would get the ball back with 37 seconds left, trailing 31-25. Wombat QB Bob Devlin started the final drive at their own 33 yard line. With no timeouts left, Hoboken needed to use the sidelines and get out of bounce to stop the clock. After an incompletion, Devlin connected with TE Paul Fancy for a short gain of seven yards. The clock kept ticking because Fancy stayed in bounce. With only a chance to make one or two plays, it was time to throw a hail mary. Devlin went back to pass and saw WR Garth Iorg only being covered by one defender. "Bobby D" launched a bomb which was caught by Iorg. Using his 415 pounds of strength, he broke one tackle and strolled in the end zone for the winning touchdown. With nine seconds left the Wombats took the lead for the first time 32-31. Hoboken did have a scare on the kickoff, Chiefs kick off returner, Joe Spikes ran the ball back 77 yards to the Wombat 23 yard line after a game saving tackle by the great Hoboken kicker, Nicole Cody. Luckily time expired during the run back. It was almost a true miracle that Hoboken is in the Superbowl. "This is a great feeling, we never gave up and I'm proud to get back in the big game for the third straight year" mentioned an elated Steve Largent. "When I saw the kick return I literally peed my pants, these games are to tight" said Coach Fots. Quarterback Bob Devlin told reporters "We won, however the goal is going all the way - it's like going to the prom, it's good to be there but you would like to score also". Free Safety Kim Herring suffered a finger injury while picking his nose. Herring expects to play in the Superbowl. Wide Receiver Owen McGowan told reporters to "Give me the damn ball, and we'll win!". Will the third time be the charm? The Wombats take on Green Bay in the Superbowl! The teams played each other earlier in the season with Hoboken winning 28-27. However the Packers are 5 point favorites this time around....NOTES....Fred Middlefinger left the game early due to a stomach "problem", Scooter Vignuolo told the media "He's ok. It was tough to be around him - the smell was poopy"

MIRACLE IN KANSAS CITY SCORING SUMMARY
(1st Q) KC - 4 yd. run by Rodgers at 2:00 (KC 7, HOB 0)
(2nd Q) HOB - 34 yd. FG by N.Cody at 4:54 (KC 7, HOB 3)
(2nd Q) KC - 4 yd. pass by Vick to Graham at 0:51 (KC 14, HOB 3)
(2nd Q) HOB - 16 yd. pass by Devlin to P.Fancy at 0:04 (KC 14, HOB 10)
(3rd Q) KC - 10 yd. run by Rodgers at 1:04 (KC 21, HOB 10)
(4th Q) HOB - 9 yd. pass by Devlin to Fatass at 4:29 (KC 21, HOB 17)
(4th Q) KC - 78 yd. pass by Vick to Spikes at 4:05 (KC 28, HOB 17)
(4th Q) HOB - 21 yd. pass by Devlin to P.Fancy at 3:00, Conv Good (KC 28, HOB 25)
(4th Q) KC - 54 yd. FG by Peterson at 0:44 (KC 31, HOB 25)
(4th Q) HOB - Devlin 60 yd. pass by Devlin to G.Iorg at 0:09 (KC 31, HOB 32)

WOMBATS HOLD OFF JACKSONVILLE 20-17, OFF TO K.C.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP - HOBOKEN TAKES ON KANSAS CITY FRI. FEB 27th at 11:45pm!

Just several weeks ago the Jacksonville Jaguars walked into the Marsupial Bowl and pounded the Hoboken Wombats 45-31. This time it was the Divisional Playoff would things be different? Well, things did not look promising as the Jacksonville Jaguars storme d down the field on the opening drive, but this time the Hoboken defense would make an important third down stop forcing the Jaguars to only score three points. That pretty much set the tempo in Hoboken's 20 to 17 victory over the Jaguars. This will be the Wombats third straight trip to the AFC Championship. After the opening score Hoboken had an 11 play drive ending with a Bob Devlin 8 yard run, giving Hoboken a 7-3 lead. It was a slow time consuming drive that quieted the crowd and threw the Jaguars off t h eir game. The Wombats would add to their lead with a touchdown pass to Paul Fancy and a Nicole Cody field goal. When the fourth quarter started it looked like the Wombats would coast into the Championship game with a comfortable 17-3 lead. However, Jackso n ville would not quit. On fourth and two, with under five minutes to play, running back Shawn Alexander took the ball, avoided several tackles and ran 51 yards for the score. Next, Hoboken would go three and out. The Jaguars had great field position with u n der two minutes left. Amazingly Jacksonville kept mostly to the running game, scoring again when Shawn Alexander ran 13 yards for his second touchdown of the game. All of a sudden, the game was tied at 17. This time though, the Wombats had all three timeo u ts and about 1:30 to work with. That's when the Devlin to Paul Fancy connection started to click again. After pass completions of 23 and 16 yards, the Wombats were nearing field goal range. Tubby Fatass and John Stemmler ran the ball all the way to the Ja g uars 16 yard line. It was getting tense, with ten seconds to go Nicole Cody kicked the game winner again. The Wombats are victorious 20 to 17! "It feels good getting game winning kicks in back to back playoff games, just as good as having Lemon flavored S n apple" said Cody. She added "Snapple is a refreshing way to spend your day after a tough football game!" Something tells us that Nicole might have a deal with Snapple...hmmmm? Anyhow coach Binkus Fots is ready for the showdown next week against the Chiefs . "I told my players we must relax, I will set new guidelines, we will have a curfew of 3am each day, no Botox parties, I also told the guys no eating at Roy Rogers because the food will go straight to our hips". Fots mentioned that the next game is not th e Superbowl and that failure is not an option. Who the heck knows what the heck he is talking about. The one thing is for certain Hoboken is 4 point underdogs...Good Luck in Kansas City...A ticket to the Superbowl is waiting!

WILDCARD - ON TO JACKSONVILLE, HOBOKEN WINS WILDCARD THRILLER!

HOBOKEN TAKES ON JACKSONVILLE WED. FEB 25th at 11:45pm!

The Wombats had no timeouts, time was ticking and history was against them. Only six seconds left and Hoboken was trailing 31 -24. Hoboken drove the ball almost 80 yards down the field in 51 seconds. Only five yards away from overtime or "wait until next year". Bob Devlin rolled to his right threw a floater in the air, Paul Fancy leaped and made the catch to send this thriller i n to overtime! Things looked bright in the extra session. The Wombats won the coin flip and had the ball but in typical fashion things did not go easy. After three plays Hoboken was forced to punt...Then an amazing thing occurred. Charger QB Joe Shannon's f irst pass of overtime was intercepted by Wombat Kim Herring. He returned the pick over twenty yards to the Charger 40 yard line. A couple of running plays later and Nicole Cody puched the Hoboken ticket south to Jacksonville with a 31 yard field goal and 3 4-31 win. "I believed I soiled myself, I was quite a treat" said coach Fots. "The team has heart, just like Howard Dean or Hugh Hefner - we can win, let's party". The Wombats better not party too much. Jacksonville is a 5 point favorite. The winner will m eet Kansas City in the AFC Championship. The loser will be ashamed and smell funny. Good Luck Wombats!

WEEK 16 - OUCH! THIS HURTS....JAX 45, WOMBATS 31. HOBOKEN HOSTS WILDCARD GAME NEXT WEEK

This loss put Hoboken in a tough spot . To get to the superbowl the Wombats would need three wins, instead of two. Ugh! To sum up this game - Jacksonville was unstoppable. Shawn Alexander ran for three touchdowns and 178 yards, giving the Jaguars a first round bye. The game was never really c lose. The Wombats trailed 28-7 at halftime - and only got close late in the game with the final score 45-31. "This is a game we need to put behind us" said Wombat quarterback Bob Devlin. "We need to focus, but first I need a beer" added coach Fots. "We wa nt to play these guys again, I do not fear them, I worry about having a case of gas during the playoffs" mentioned free safety Harry Fagina. Enough about this game - it's time for the post season! Go Wombats!

WEEK 15 - BACK-UPS TAKE CARE OF PITT 27-24

Analcavity, Middlefinger, Twatty and Blueballs - heard of these guys? Aahhhh! the luxury of making the playoffs early, you get to use your back ups and they played great. Bill Donner came off the bench threw three touchdowns. Receivi ng those passes were Dane Iorg, Ted Twatty and Steve Largent. The Wombats bolted out to a 24-3 lead. That is when Carnell Lester and the Steelers woke up and made this a date with the runs or in other words - he put a scare into the Wombat fans who were w a tching and made their stomachs quesy. Three straight Steeler scores tied the contest at 24. However once again all star kicker Nicole Cody "wowwed" the crowd with a 47 yard field goal with 2:24 left. The score held and the victory went to the Wombats. Onc e again it was a tale of two halfs for the Hoboken defense. Sometimes they look great other times missing tackles cost them. Either way it is a WIN!!!!! GAME STATS - Donner 8/16, 180 yards, 3 TD....Pittsburgh - RB Lester 138 yards rushing with 3 TD's.

WEEK 14 - PATRIOTS NO MATCH FOR WOMBATS

In a game that was more important to New England, the Wombats got off slow, but put together a great effort in knocking off the Patriots 38-21 in a jam packed Marsupal Bowl yesterday. The Wo mbats used a balanced attack, with Tubby Fatass rushing for 62 yards and Bob Devlin throwing for 247 yards. In the victory Steve Largent caught two touchdown passes, Garth Iorg caught one and Patriot QB Drew Brees caught a bad case of "Whoop-Ass". Hoboke n defense picked off the youngster (who will be 50 in 2020 - please check back at this website at that time. Of course by then the Playstation 2 will be long retired and PS 13 will be in charge and probably }{\f1\fs20\insrsid9905730 Tripod}{ \f1\fs20\insrsid9905730 will charge a fee just to own a website. ..but anyway) twice. New England trailed the rest of the way after the first quarter. The Wombats would open 31-14 lead early in the fourth. The Pats would strike cutting the lead to ten points, but it was to much to overcome. The crowd was quiet when Ga r th Iorg was hit in the groin by a Devlin pass. Iorg who is "anti-cup" said his view has changed. At the press conference Iorg told reporters "I like to be free, but I want to have children too, I hope my wedding tackle is a-okay". Coach Fots looks onto Pi t tsburgh next week. "We cannot overlook these guys. They made our defense look like silly buttons last time we played them." Fans, in the meantime lets all try to find out what silly buttons are....GAME STATS: Wombats - Devlin 14/29, 247 yards, 3 TD's, 1 INT.....Fatass 62, J.Stemmler 24 yds. rushing. Largent 2 TD receptions.....New England - QB Brees 12/29, 192 yards, 3 TD's, 2 INT's....Muhammad 82 yards rushing.

WEEK 13 - WOMBATS CLINCH AFC NORTH WITH VICTORY

In a game that wa s a blowout turned out to be a thriller. The Hoboken Wombats blew a 24 point lead and came back with a late field goal in a 37-35 victory over the Minnesota Vikings. Bob Devlin had a rough game, but help pull off a victory in the final seconds when Devli n threw a 43 yard completion to Garth Iorg, setting up the game winning field goal by Nicole Cody. The Wombats opened up a 31-7 lead at halftime. A fumble recovery by Buckley and touchdown passes by Devlin & Donner stunned the Vikings and big time Wombat fan Haywoode Jablowme. "This is awesome, I never saw such beauty on the field...it's like going to a strip club but not spending money - awesome!" mentioned long time fan Jablowme. Anyway back to the game. The Vikings stuck fast in the third quarter scori n g two touchdowns in a matter of minutes. Aaron Brooks threw to Brackens & Green cutting into the Wombat lead 31-22. But the foot of superhero Nicole Cody saved the day. Minnesota took the lead with 25 seconds left. Hoboken had two timeouts and the ball at their own 33. With ten seconds left Garth Iorg (a possible pro bowler) caught a pass by Devlin, and broke several tackles setting up the footwork of the crafty kicker. Nicole made the game winning 27 yard field goal, clinching a playoff berth for the Wom b ats. "She can kick the ball like no other...my mom used to kick too...she kick me in the ass if I did something wrong" - said coach Fots. "You can tell my ass is quite bruised" added Fots "She (Cody) is a hall of famer". Wombat Fred Middlefinger left the game with stomach problems. Middlefinger told reporters that he ate chili with fudge brownies before the game that made his - "ass go on fire". This team might be crazy...but catch the madness of the post season! Tickets on sale at the box office and no o ther places. If you miss out, you are a bad person.

WEEK 12 - WOMBATS COME UP WITH BIG D, IN 34-7 ROMP

When you think of Hoboken football it is the offense that usually shines, however this time the Wombat defense stole the show. Titans quarterback Steve McNair was intercepted four times as the Wombats inched their way closer to a division title with a 34- 7 blowout. "We looked really good, kind of like a supermodel whose not on the chronic" said Douglas Dildo who picked off McNair pass in the third quarter. Dildo who sells shoes in the summer, loves the attention from the media. "As a poor boy growing up in California, I used to step on grapes at a winery, then I worked as a clown before I sold shoes, catching footballs is a dream come true". Dildo helped put the game away when Tennessee was about to score early in the fourth. Bob Devlin actually had time t o rest in the final minutes when Pepe Pussye and Bill Donner shared quarterback duties. Pussye has success throwing a touchdown pass. "It is great to see the Pusser (Pepe) get in the game" mentioned coach Fots. "Donner & The Pusser is the future of Womba t Football - so is a six pack of Natural Light" added Fots. Hoboken can clinch the AFC North title with a win over Minnesota next week. GAME STATS: Devlin 12/29, 180 yards, 2 TD's, 1 INT....Paul Fancy - 5 receptions, 106 yards.....TITANS: QB-McNair 13/29 , 245 yards, 1 TD, 4 INT's...Mack George 1 TD reception.

WEEK 11 - WOMBATS END PACKERS WIN STREAK AT 9.

(Green Bay, WI) The Hoboken Wombats answered the critics and coach Fots can relax after a 28-27 upset win over the Gre en Bay Packers. The Wombats would trail 21 to 3 before shutting down the Packers offense in the second half. The comeback began on a late second quarter drive when QB Bob Devlin saw an open Steve Largent in the end zone cutting the lead at halftime to 21- 1 0. The twinkable Nicole Cody would kick a field goal making the score 21-13. Johnny Stemmler would score on his only carry of the game pulling the Wombats within two points (after the two point conversion failed). The fourth quarter saw Hoboken rally aga i n. Hoboken had the lead for the first time on a Nicole Cody field goal with only 1:57 left, it was a drive the stalled but Hoboken got three points - making the score 22-21 Wombats. Brett Favre and the Packers were not finished, they converted two passes - one went to Eugene Branch for a 42 yard touchdown reception giving the Packers a lead 27-22, but the pesky Hobokeners followed with a scoring drive that would make anyone proud (Especially Lacey Doggie) getting the winning score when Garth Iorg caught a 3 7 yard touchdown pass from Devlin. It was Iorg's seventh TD of the season. "My ass is so cold" mentioned Garth when he sat down with reporters. "This one is for the coach, now it is time to party where are the ladies" added WR Owen "Maestro" McGowan. "Thi s is a TEAM and we play like a champion today, now that I soiled myself I better use the little boys room" said an elated coach Binkus Fots. Quarterback Bob Devlin said that his game has improved and that he is a better player than he was in grammar school . "My game is top notch, give me the ball - we will win...Go Wombats and cheese because I love the cheese" said Devlin. All Johnny Stemmler could say is "It's frickin' freezing out here but maybe if I fart I could warm my extremities up". Next week the Wom bats will play the Titans at the Marsupial Bowl - tickets are still on sale. "Buy some tickets, or dry up" - Gapper Stemmler

WEEK 10 - STEELERS STUN WOMBATS 43-38

This one was going to be easy, maybe finally a game where the Hob oken Wombats could breathe without putting a scare into fans, a chance to basically win a division and maybe let the back ups have more playing time. Well in Wombatland things do not come easy and this game was no exception. Hoboken started well, driving to the Steeler 19 yard line when Nicole Sweetie Cody kicked a 36 yard field goal giving Hoboken the only lead they would see 3-0. After that the roof collapsed! Coach Binkus Fots was disappointed in the loss. "We could not stop them at all, it was like a flood or when you piss yourself \endash it is not good". Pittsburgh would go into halftime up 21-10, despite a 93 yard touchdown kick off return by Tubby Fatass (Fa-Tass). The Steelers would add 5 field goals by Martin Gramatica. "Ugly" added wide receiver Stev e Largent. "Quite honestly it was like watching your parents make out \endash pretty disgusting". "Our team needed to regroup but we came up with a mess just like my friend Mitch Cumstein, he is a mess" added a dejected Owen "Maestro" McGowan. With the Wombat s down 40 to 31, quarterback Bob Devlin threw a touchdown pass to Paul Fancy but the onside kick failed \endash and Pittsburgh added a field goal to win the game 43-38. Bob Devlin talked to the media saying "Do you see my stats \endash 426 yards passing, 4 touchdown passes \endash I want a raise or at least some extra benefits like cleats \endash I mean I could only play in sandals for so long" Devlin is referring to team budget cuts. Devlin added "Stemmler (Johnny) is wearing no pads, Iorg wears only one shoe and Razzano wears no helmet\'85where\rquote s the equipment?" Good question\'85 However since budget cuts, there have been no major injuries\'85.unles you count Pepe Pussye\rquote s head falling off during a tackle. Pussye sat out a play and returned \endash what a tough bitch! GAME STATS: Devlin 16/39, 426 yards, 4 TD\rquote s, 1 INT. Largent 4 receptions, 169 yards, 3 TD\rquote s\'85.STEELERS: QB-Jones, 11/22, 250 yards, 3 TD\rquote s. Spriggs 5 receptions, 122 yards, 1 TD.

WEEK 9 - HOBOKEN WINS ON NICOLE'S FOOT, 31-28 OVER LIONS

If the Wombat s win a superbowl you can thank the foot of Nicole Cody. Again Nicole got the game winning kick as Hoboken held on to defeat the Detroit Lions 31 to 28. Bob Devlin played well throwing for 268 yards and three touchdowns. Tubby Fatass moved well rushing fo r 41 yards and also scoring a touchdown. Hoboken led at the half 14-0. Detroit came back ultimately tying the score at 28. The magic of Nicole (similar to the magic of Duquesne University) took control with one second left. "The Bear" as she is called conn e cted with a 46 yarder at the buzzer for the win! Go Wombats! Hey fans support your team and buy a bobblehead doll - it's bobble mania....better than Beatle-Mania! Keep it real G! Go Bats all the way to Tampa for the Super Bowl!...GAME STATS: Devlin 14 /27, 268 yds. 3 TD's, 1 INT. Lions - Hamilton 15/24, 251 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT.

WEEK 8 - HANGING ON, WOMBATS HOLD OFF RAVENS 20-17

WOMBATS TAKE ON THE BROWNS

(AP-CLEVELAND, Ohio) In the land of the Cleveland Indians, the clean lake Erie and Drew Carey, the Hoboken Wombats will drive the Wombat Team Bus all the way to Cleveland this week to take on the Browns. "I like that Drew Carey show - I think it m a y be cancelled but who knows, I don't" mentioned coach Fots. "We have our game faces on, right now or in my case I am constipated" added the energized coach. Defensive Tackle Fred Middlefinger wants more playing time. Middlefinger told reporters "I like f o otball, this is my life and I also like Chia Pets..they make a great gift especially the Scooby Doo one this year". Middlefinger wants to show the world that he is up to the challenge. Wide receiver Owen McGowan claims that this is the year for us to "Al l get laid and pee in a wicker basket". Reporters were confused by the statement. Owen's publicist Ted Harrison told the media that McGowan's statement refers to an incident that happened earlier in his childhood. Quarterback Bill Donner looks forward to a victory this week. "We need to show New Jersey that "We Belong" - just like the song by Pat Benetar". News media under the age of twenty had no idea who Pat Benetar is. "All we are saying is we need to set the tempo and like score 6 Td's - all by me" said Knuckles Donner. We will see if your Wombats can back it up and post a win. FACTOIDS: Nestle is going to come out with the "Middlefinger" candy bar. It will look like a "Butterfinger" but taste different. When Garth Iorg sings to himself before a game Hob oken is 7-1. When Garth Iorg talks to himself Hoboken is 3-5 lifetime. The Wombats are Undefeated when Johnny Stemmler wears Zips sneakers during the game.

WEEK 7 - BROWNS UPSET WOMBATS 21-14, FOTS FEELING GASSY

WEEK 6 - WOMBATS HOLD OFF TEXANS 20-17

Final	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	OT	Score
(5-1) Wombats	14	3	0	3	-	20
(1-6) Texans	0	7	7	3	-	17

1st Quarter
HOB - 20 yard TD pass from Devlin to Largent at 2:15
HOB - 16 yard TD pass from Devlin to Largent at 0:15

2nd Quarter
HOU - 15 yard TD pass from Brady to Robinson at 0:35
HOB - 49 yard FG by N.Cody at 0:01

3rd Quarter
HOU - 21 yard TD run by Avery at 1:26

4th Quarter
HOU - 44 yard FG by Lovehole at 1:50
HOB - 47 yard FG by N.Cody at 0:30

Overtime
NONE - It's Wombat-time! Go Blue, Grey & Black!

WEEK 5 - WOMBATS FALL TO BROWNS IN HOME OPENER

The Hoboken Wombats rallied from 17-0 and 24-7 deficits just to fall short 31-28 yesterday at a sold out Marsupal Bowl at Hoboken. The Wombats (4-1) never had the lead. Just 36 seconds into the contest the Browns scored on a Tim Couch 57 yard touchdown pass to Torry Holt giving Cleveland a 7-0 lead. Wombat QB, Bob Devlin suffered a slight injury late in the second quarter. Bill Donner replaced Devlin for several plays including his two y ard touchdown run, cutting the Browns lead to 17-7. Devlin who had a deep paper cut came out for the third and fourth quarters. "The finger feels better, I think I'll be at 100% next week" said Devlin to reporters. His finger was feeling really good in th e fourth quarter where the Wombats put up 21 points. Coach Fots was proud of the team even though the result was not too good. "I really do not remember the fourth quarter, by that time I was on my tenth Coors Light - I might have a problem". Anyway next w eek your Wombats fly to Texas to take on the Texans.

WEEK 4 - HOBOKEN WINS OVER BEARS 28-21

WEEK 3 - WOMBATS BLAST INDY 34-14

WEEK 2 - WOMBATS WIN AT OAKLAND 22-20

Like last week, this was a thriller...but ugly. It was not the best effort on offense by Hoboken but they will take it. In a game that featured seven turnovers, the Wombats made one fewer to hang on to a 22-20 victory over the Oakland Raiders. The Raiders opened the scoring o n a long drive ending with a touchdown giving Oakland a 7-0 lead. However, Nicole Cody answered back with two field goals followed by a 79 yard punt return by Thomas Thomas (yes, that's not a typo) extending Hoboken's lead to 12-7, going into the fourth q u arter. Oakland would not quit, less than three minutes later a four yard touchdown run by Hitchcock gave the Raiders the lead back, 13-12. But, Hero Cody (Nicole) took care of business kicking a 35 yard field goal, it was her third of the day giving the W o mbats a 15-13 lead. "I kicked the ball far, I like kicking...I'm the bear! me great!" said Nicole. Coach Fots agreed "She's quite a kicker and a star for us". Both teams would trade scores in the final minutes but it was the Wombats coming out on top 22-2 0 . "Our team is like a book club, we gather together each week, with only one difference, more sweat and we wear uniforms, that's two differences...I least I could count" mentioned a flustered coach Fots. "I not good at media thingies" added Binkus. Your Wombats take on the Colts next week. Don't miss free bug spray night coming up when Hoboken takes on Baltimore - every kid under 13 gets bug spray free!!!! Kids love football and Bug Spray! GAME STATS: Wombats - P.Fancy, 3 receptions, 98 yds, 1 TD...4 Interceptions by the Wombat Defense. Oakland - Horn, 5 receptions, 108 yards. QB-C.Houston 19/27, 271 yards, 4 INT's, 1 TD.

WEEK 1 \endash SHOOTOUT GOES TO WOMBATS 32-25

A thriller in Baltimore. The Hoboken Wombats took on the Ravens in a battle that saw both teams trade scores for four quarters. Bob Devlin led the Wombats throwing four touchdown passes in the victory. As usual winning was not easy. The Wombats scored on the opening drive when Paul Fancy caught a four-yard pass that gave Hoboken a 7-0 lead. It was his first game played wearing flip flops. "They feel comfy, I love flip flops" mentioned Fancy. The Wombats would build a 14-3 lead later in the contest wh en Devlin found Paul Fancy again in the end zone. "We were clicking all day \endash it\rquote s like when you eat beans, you know it\rquote s good but it will smell later". I really do not know what the heck that means but anyway...The Ravens found a way to tie things up in t he final minutes. Quarterback Bippi Dootypants connected with James Hackett with 1:03 left in the game, but once again Paul Fancy saved the day catching his third TD pass from Devlin giving the \lquote bats a victory, 32-25. "A win is a win, but these games are sending me to the crapper because they are so close" said a nervous Coach Fots. Fots added "I love coaching the Wombats but maybe someday I will coach my dream \endash ballet". GAME STATS: Wombats \endash P.Fancy 5 receptions for 79 yards, 3 TD \'85.. Devlin 13/18, 374 yards, 4 TD. Baltimore - QB- Dootypants 11/14, 239 yards, 1 TD\'85.Barlow 92 yards rushing, 2 TD. Campbell 5 receptions for 150 yards.

2005-06 SEASON IN REVIEW

WEEK 19 - BRIDESMAIDS AGAIN, HOBOKEN COMES UP SHORT IN SUPERBOWL 28-23 The Seattle Seahwaks capped off an amazing run as a wildcard team to win the Superbowl over the Hoboken Wombats yesterday in Detroit, Michigan. "We played well however we didn't play good enough, as you can see by the scoreboard" said a depre ssed Paul Fancy. Fancy caught two touchdown passes in the loss. The difference was Seattle running back Corey Dillon. He ran for 144 yards and had two touchdowns. Things looked bright as Hoboken started out fast taking an early 7-0 lead. Mark DiGiacomo ca u ght his first TD pass in this years playoffs. After that Seattle would outscore Hoboken 28-16 for a Superbowl victory. The Wombats had a late rally. With no time outs Bob Devlin moved Hoboken down the field quickly. Paul Fancy caught a pass caught for a t o uchdown. However, the replay official needed time to review the play. After tense moments, the play stood and Hoboken was within five. Coach Fots elected to go for a 2 point conversion. Unfortunately the conversion failed. The only hope for a miracle wa s an on-side kick, that too failed and the season was over. "We stated strong but couldn't take care of business when we should have, just like Rutgers we lost" mentioned Coach Fots. The comment actually upset Hoboken's Owen McGowan "I'm highly offended th at he used Rutgers in his comment...no I'm not, Rutgers isn't that good...they stink". Hopefully next year will be the one! GAME STATS: HOBOKEN: QB-Devlin 14/27, 325 yards, 3 TD.....Paul Fancy- 6 Receptions/107 yards, 2 TD....SEATTLE: QB-Weeks- 9/14, 196, 2 TD, 1 INT.....Dillon 144 yards rushing, 2 TD.

WEEK 18 - CONTROVERSY IN WIN OVER RAIDERS, WOMBATS IN SUPERBOWL You do not think of good defense in a 39-35 victory, but the Hoboken defense stood up and shut down the Oakland Raiders in the 4th Quarter to send themselves to the Superbowl for the second time in two seasons. The game was a see-saw battle, in which the Raiders held a 35-24 lead early in the 4th. Hoboken started the comeback when QB Bob Devlin connected with Paul Fancy on a 2 yard T D pass. The Wombats added the 2 point conversion to cut the lead to three. The Raiders were stopped on the next drive, which gave Hoboken a chance to win it all. Garth Iorg who has slimmed down to a mere 410 pounds caught 3 receptions during the last driv e . The clock was winding down when "Mr. D" Bob Devlin saw Iorg wide open in the end zone for the game winning touchdown. Oakland argued saying Iorg's left foot was out of bounds, the review was inconclusive, giving Hoboken the touchdown and the win. "I hop e next week we will play better because sometimes I think we play better with ourselves" said coach Fots after the win. Rumors have been swirling that next year maybe Fots last. He wants to pursue a career in driftwood sculpting. Hoboken will face the surp rise Seattle Seahawks in the Superbowl. Last year Washington knocked off Hoboken in a classic Superbowl game. We will see if the Wombats can take home the glory.

WEEK 17 - WOMBATS MOVE ON TO THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP The Hoboken Wombats started t he post-season on the right foot with a 28-20 win, in a game that got ugly at the end. What do you do when you have a 21-20 lead, have the ball and there are only 4 seconds left....do you (A)- Kneel on the ball and end the game gracefully or (B) - Throw a 40 yard bomb downfield to pad the stats and start a riot......Well, time's up. The answer is obviously...B...Bob Devlin was about to take a knee when he fired a "hail mary" that was caught by Ken Cody for a touchdown. Wombat Coach Fots addressed the media after the win, "Look, when you are in the playoffs, you have to rub it in - hell we may not be back here next year, give me a drink" said coach Fots. The pass angered Cleveland QB Tim Couch. "We are going to circle the calendar for when we play them next year, you can bet your ass or something of lesser value on it" said Couch. Wide Receiver for Hoboken Steve Largent (who in Playstation 2 is only 23 years old as compared to 50 in real life) had a different outlook - "This is football, we have big gonads t h ey have little ones - end of discussion". The controversy overshadowed a great game. QB Bob Devlin was 12 for 16, threw for 313 yards and 3 touchdowns. Devlin talked to reporters after the game and said "I want an extension to my contract, you see me, I a m a genius like Nomar, Tom Brady and Grady Little". Coach Fots has told the team that no partying after the game will be tolerated. Minutes later a member of the Wombats - Fred Middlefinger was arrested for going streaking...along with Coach Fots. STATS - HOBOKEN, QB-Devlin 12/16, 313 yds, 3 TD's....WR G.Iorg 4 Rec/133 yds, 1 TD....CLEVELAND, QB Couch 14/23, 215, 1 TD....Barber 62 yds. rushing, 1 TD.

WEEK 17 - TIME FOR THE PLAYOFFS, HOBOKEN IS READY...MAYBE The Wombats can rest up and wait to see who they will play because with a 12-4 record any team who wants to win a superbowl will have to visit the Marsupial Bowl to do so. Paul Fancy is focused on whoever they play. "It can be difficult to bowl and play football at the same time, but I'm d o ing it for the kids. It is all about getting the W, remember - it's not how you play the game...it's whether you win or lose". Fancy knows championships, he teamed up with Maestro McGowan to win the TBKA (Tennis Baseball Kicks Ass) championship back in 19 8 7. A table hockey championship in 1991 and a spoon hockey championship back in the early eighties. Paul Fancy also has a string of softball championships as well. "If you eat your vitamins and practice you will be successful, if not you will suffer and pr obably contract syphillis or some crap like that" added an upbeat Fancy. Anyway you look at it this team is ready to play and make Hoboken proud. GAME NOTES: Nicole Cody is the "mac-bear daddy". Antonio Nippletwist will be wearing flip-flops in next weeks game. Wombats to play exhibition game in Austrailia next season. Kermit The Frog cleared of substance charges - lab reports indicated only slime from a pond. Scooter Vignuolo (lawyer/football player) looking to represent Frog in any suit against the league. Chris Fama is looking to break the record for most farts during a game (Currently held by Troy Analcavity with 67

WEEK 16 - RAVENS KNOCK OFF WOMBATS 21-14 IN REGULAR SEASON FINALE Hoboken saved the starters for the playoffs and rested all of them in a 21-14 loss to the Ravens. Hoboken has a first round bye and will wait to see the Wild card winners. Despite the loss, Bill "Knuckles" Donner was near perfect in the first half completing ten passes in a row. However a late rally failed and Baltimore got the win and finished 8-8. "I gave the guys a day off, I told them to drink a keg or two and relax this week because we got some ass-wh o oping to do" yelled and excited Fots. "I think all of our quarterbacks can win a superbowl for us" mentioned wide receiver Steve Largent. "We just have to focus and play hard" said Antonio Nippletwist. We will keep you abreast of all Hoboken news in the p layoffs.

WEEK 15 - LACEY DAY - A CELEBRATION IN A 15-12 WIN OVER GIANTS The star of Lacey Day turned out to be Lacey! With 54 seconds left Lacey Doggie caught a five yard TD pass from Bob Devlin and caught a 2pt. conversion to give Hoboken a 15-12 win. The victory gave the Wombats 12 wins, only one win away from tying last year's mark. The scoring started early. The Giants would open with a 3-0 lead on a field goal by Hanson with five seconds left in the first quarter. The Wombats struck b ack when Devlin connected with big man Garth Iorg. The touchdown gave Hoboken a 7-3 lead at halftime. Garth Iorg at 7 feet tall and 415 pounds, is on the Atkins diet and has lost six pounds in the past four years. Iorg can still run 40 yards in 5 seconds. With that speed Hoboken held the lead until the Giants would score twice in 2 minutes. First, a Hanson field goal and a 78 yard run by Duckett but the 2 point conversion would fail. Giants now led 12 to 7. With under two minutes left, Hoboken would use a secret weapon, Lacey the Dog. It was first down at the New York six yard line. Lacey broke right and Bob Devlin threw a soft toss to the Doggie. With her paws extended Lacey made the catch of the year for a touchdown. Hoboken led 13-12. Coach Fots decide d to go for two. His decision worked. Doggie would catch another pass good for two more points and a Wombat win! "We are and will always be proud of Lacey" added coach Fots. "She will always be in our hall of fame". With the victory Hoboken has clinched ho m e field advantage for the playoffs. A Super Bowl victory would be great for Lacey. GO WOMBATS LACEY IS THE BEST! Hoboken wraps the regular season up against the Baltimore Ravens next week. STATS - HOBOKEN, Devlin 10/20, 218 yards, 2 TD's...Doggie 1 TD cat ch...Iorg 1 TD catch...Largent 105 receiving yards. GIANTS, Harrington 10/23, 159 yards, 1 INT...Duckett 97 rushing yards, 1 TD.

WEEK 15 - LACEY DOGGIE DAY IN HOBOKEN

The Wombats will be ready to play in honor of everyone's fav orite doggie - Lacey - this weekend, when the Hoboken Wombats take on the New York Giants. "We are ready for this game, it won't be easy but I feel that we will make her proud" said coach Fots. "Lacey will and always be the best dog to ever play football, she always has the heart of a champion and we love her" added the coach. "She is always the best at everything she does, I love my doggie" said Ken Cody. To see some pictures of Lacey click on "Our Lacey" near the bottom of this page. LET'S WIN!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

GAME NOTES: Nicole Cody is the "mac-bear daddy". Paul Fancy will be wearing flip-flops in next weeks game. Wombats to play exhibition game in Austrailia next season. Kermit The Frog cleared of substance charges - lab reports indicated only slime fr om a pond. Scooter Vignuolo (lawyer/football player) looking to represent Frog in any suit against the league.

WEEK 14 \endash BACKUPS ALMOST PULL IT OFF, TEXANS WIN 21-12. With a playoff position clinched, coach Fots rested all his starters in today\rquote s game against the Houston Texans. Starting for the first time this season was QB- Pepe Pussye, WR- Ted Twatty, WR- Dane Iorg and also WR- Brian Blueballs. They seemed a bit rusty but hung in there. The Wombats only lead came early on a 20yd fiel d goal by the sweet Nicole Cody. After that it was uphill all the way. Late in the fourth Hoboken rallied to cut the lead to 14-12, but a two point conversion failed and the Texans added a late touchdown. Some bright spots \endash Pussye threw for 275 yards, the defense came up with two interceptions and even with the loss the Wombats still lead the conference with the best record. The Wombats look to win one for LACEY! Next week on LACEY DAY!!!

WEEK 13 \endash WOW! WOMBATS OVER EAGLES 42-7 The Eagl e fans who came to Hoboken left by halftime as the Wombats would open a 28-0 lead. Usually the Wombats are in a battle to the end, but not this week. John Stemmler ran for 103 yards and rushed for two touchdowns and Bob Devlin was nearly perfect complet ing 9 of 10 passes with two touchdown tosses in a 42 to 7 blowout. Defensively Douglas Dildo and Sam Garnes picked off Eagles QB Mike Gray in the first half. Everything worked well. Even third string Pepe Pussye saw action as QB of the Wombats. \'93 We worked hard out there, it wasn\rquote t as easy as you think but it wasn\rquote t too too hard\'94 said Momma Cody after the game. Punter Tomas Zigray added \'93With this offensive I never really get to kick \endash it\rquote s okay, I make almost 3 million dollars\'94. Owen McGowan mentioned \'93I was on three dates during the game \endash and I scored a touchdown, it was easy\'94. The Wombats improve to 11-2 and in the process, clinched a playoff spot. \'93It\rquote s good that we are in \endash now I could take it easy and get loaded\'94 added coach Fots at a press conference. Hoboken takes on the Houston Texans next week.

WEEK 12 \endash CRAZY GAME, CRAZY WIN \endash WOMBATS OVER BILLS There was panic. The Wombats tied their longest losing streak of the year at one. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife \endash what ever the hell that means. What was a defensive struggle, turned into a game of scoring at will. The Wombats led by their captain Bob Devlin threw for almost 300 yards in a 39-24 win over the Buffalo Bills in front of a sold out Marsupial Bowl. Devlin got off to a slow start only going making two completed passes in the first quarter. From that point on everything started to click. The Wombats opened the scoring midway through the second quarter with touchdown runs by Bluejeans Stemmler and T ubby Fatass. The 14-0 lead was short-lived. Buffalo would come back to make this a contest. With 1:58 left in the third quarter Bills kicker, Corky Clit kicked a 51 yard field goal to cut the Wombat lead to 21-17. Coach Fots was getting worried. \'93 The last time I felt this nervous was when I got tested for the claps\'94 mentioned coach Fots to the media after the game, \'93It was scary\'94 . The fear was short-lived too because Steve Largent and a Nicole Cody field goal put the game out of reach. The Wombats held on for the win. It was a good victory on two fronts. First, 10-2 is a nice record and we found out that Binkus Fots does not have the claps.

GAME STATS \endash HOBOKEN \endash Devlin 13/29, 295 yds. 3 TD\rquote s\'85.Largent 3 TD receptions\'85..BILLS \endash QB-Holt 18/32, 293 yds. 3 TD\rquote s\'85.Tomlinson 4 receptions, 1 TD catch.

WEEK 11 \endash RAVENS PREVAIL IN OT OVER WOMBATS When things were looking easy for the Hoboken Wombats, Baltimore stood in their way. Having an average season the Ravens were j ust looking to keep playoff hopes alive and they did more than that. QB Bippi Dootypants led the Ravens with 1 touchdown pass and threw for 257 yards in the overtime thriller. Eli Campbell caught 6 Dootypants passes and scored a touchdown as well in the victory. Baltimore improved to 6-5, while Hoboken\rquote s eight game winning streak ended. They are now 9-2. In the loss, it was a career day for running back John Stemmler. He ran for 145 yards with 1 touchdown. He opened the scoring with a handoff from Bobb y Devlin and ran it into the end zone for a Wombat 7-0 lead. As the first quarter end Ravens kicker Jeff Elam kicked a 38 yard field goal to cut into the lead. The teams would trade scores throughout. With 36 seconds left in the fourth quarter Eli Camp b ell caught a 22 yard pass to give the Ravens a 20-17 lead. Hoboken had one last drive in them. After a solid return by Tubby Fatass, Hoboken connected with Paul Fancy and got inside the Baltimore 35. With little time left Nicole Cody came in to kick a 51 yard field goal. It was Nicole\rquote s longest field goal. \'93I am the best, because I\rquote m the twinks \endash YEAH\'94 . However in overtime the lucky bastards (Ravens) won the coin toss, and the rest is history. A 37 yard field goal by Elam ended the game and gave Baltimore the win.

WEEK 11 - TOO EASY? HOBOKEN TAKES ON RAVENS

Sometimes when you win eight straight you begin to wonder if things are going too good. Hoboken visits Baltimore for a game against one of the best defenses in the league. Coming into this weekends action, the Ravens have only given up 14.8 points per game. While the Hoboken offense averages near 28 points. Something will have to give in this battle. Lacey Doggie is ready for the contest. She has been gnawing her way to the top o f the league in tackles. Lacey had this to say about Baltimore, "Woof, bark, bark, woof, growl, woof". All of the media agrees with Lacey. Her specialized helmet made to fit a Collie/German Shepard has sprung up some controversy. "The mutt has spunk, her h e lmet is legal in 3 countries, including Romania" coach Fots mentioned at a press conference yesterday. Lacey's contract has a special bonus clause. If she finishes in the top five in tackles in the league, she will get a year supply of doggie snacks. "The s e are not tainted, like scooby snacks - they are regular cookies for dogs - that is it" said general manager Louie Louie. "She always brings her A game out there, like Wayne Newton". No one quite understands the Wayne Newton reference but it is very inter esting, just like crabs - (from the ocean...pervert)

WEEK 10 - BATTLE OF NEW JERSEY GOES TO HOBOKEN Well it wasn't really the battle of New Jersey since the Jets are from New York, but it is close enough. A late second half comeback propelled the Wombats to a 24-21 victory over the New York Jets at Giants stadium yesterday. The Jets would score 21 unanswered points to grab a 21-0 lead late in the second quarter. Then in a flash the game turned around. Bob Devlin connected with Steve Largent w i th only 23 seconds left in the first half to cut into the Jets lead at 21-7. On the opening drive of the third quarter Bud Syphillis ran in a one yard handoff to make the game even closer at 21-14. That wasn't it - Fancy Stemmler would catch a Devlin 4 ya r d pass to tie the score at 21. The Jets would only gain under 100 yards of offense in the second half. A huge interception by Bobby Rosenberg put Hoboken in great field position for the winning field goal by Nicole Cody as time expired. Nicole as always is great!!!! The Wombats victorious again 24-21. What to expect next week? Who knows but coach Fots told reporters that luck plays a role. "When you gamble like I do, you should check yourself in an institution but we won - that's what matters and of course the hoochies as well". Once again the moral side of football has taken a blow from Binkus Fots. However he has done a great job here in NJ!

WEEK 9 - WOMBATS ALL ABOUT THE "D" IN VICTORY OVER BROWNS The Browns turned the pigskin over four ti mes and Hoboken put the game away with three late touchdowns in an impressive victory over Cleveland yesterday. Chris Fama picked off Tim Couch twice in the most impressive defensive showing by Hoboken this season. Dangerous Bob Devlin threw three TD's an d passed for 174 yards in the win. "This is a total team effort, we are coming together as a unit, just like people on that survivor show - what great TV" mentioned coach Fots. Paul Fancy was the bitch receiving three TD passes. "We need to get in playoff s hape - it's time to take it to the next level" said wide receiver Steve Largent. "I would like to win a Superbowl - even if I'm a pixel on a TV screen!" added Steve. "We can win, if we can startup our running game - no one can stop us" as a happy Bobby Ro s enberg said to reporters. The Wombats are looking for their eighth staight win next week, Ted Twatty caught a Pepe Pussye pass at the buzzer yesterday, it was Twatty's first of the year (unless you count herpes simplex - just kidding Mr. Twatty) GOT BATS? IT'S OUR YEAR!!!!!

WEEK 9 - WOMBATS GETTING A PIECE OF CLEVELAND Coach Binkus Fots knows how important divisional games are, so in preparation for this week he cut down his beer intake to a keg. "In life you are a winner or a loser - that's it, it's simple for example you have a vagina or you don't" added Fots in his weekly radio address on WDUH-FM. Only Fots knows if he has a vagina, but either way a Wombat victory would almost put away Cleveland in the division race. Hoboken Wide Receiver Steve Largent mentioned to reporters "They are (Cleveland) a solid team, we need to focus or we will be beaten". However Steve told us later "All that serious stuff about being focused was just a litte bit silly - my bad". Bob Devlin (as seen on left) loo k s forward to the game. "When you go into a battle like this, you tell yourself we will win, if you don't oh well - dooty happens!". Wombat kicker Thomas Zigray is confident. "I have money on us in Vegas...is that legal to bet on yourself? as Bobby Devlin s aid - dooty happens". Catch all the action here on the Wombats Football website for complete analysis of Hoboken vs. Cleveland...GAME FACT: Both teams combined for 133 points in last season's game. Cleveland won 69-64. Devlin threw for over 500 yards in the loss.

WEEK 8 - WOMBATS GET A BIT OF REVENGE IN VICTORY 38-28 The Mighty Wombats showed poise, like the grace of a swan in a victory over the defending superbowl champion Washington Redskins 38-28 yesterday. The game actually looked easy until an unfortunate missed tackle by "Half Midget" Troy Analcavity as Washington got back in the game late in the second quarter, only trailing 17-14. "I lost the ball in the sun" added Troy. Smith caught the pass and outran Analcavity to the end zone ( 6 7 yards). The strange thing here is the sun was not a factor, because it was cloudy and raining. Analcavity told reporters after the game "don't be hatin'". The misque in the end was not a factor. Bob D. was on the top of his game throwing for 339 yards a n d 2 touchdowns. Johnny Stemmler ran for two more TD's, while his Fancy brother caught a TD pass. The "Magnificent Bastard" Garth Iorg has two touchdown receptions as well. It was the Wombats 6th straight win. Gapper Stemmler was named player of the game. H e picked off two Rosenfels passes and recoved a Redskin fumble. The Redskins had a brief lead in the 4th, but Garth Iorg caught a touchdown reception from "Mr. Philly" Bob Devlin, with only 44 seconds left to hold on for a victory. Next Week: Cleveland!!! Hold onto your pants!

WEEK 7 - STEELERS PUT SCARE IN WOMBATS, IN HOBOKEN WIN Garth Iorg continues to have a pro bowl season making four catches for 156 y ards in Hoboken's 24-18 victory over the slumping Pittsburgh Steelers. Bob Devlin was in control, despite a brief injury going 12 for 19, 265 yards, 2 TD's and 1 INT for the game. The Tubster - Tubby Fatass opened the scoring with a six yard touchdown run to give Hoboken an early 7-0 lead. The Wombats defense was strong for almost three quarters - holding the Steelers to a lone field goal. Once again a late fourth quarter collapse almost cost Hoboken the game. Quincy Carter (QB of the Steelers) got better a s the game moved on. He ended the day with 221 yards of passing and two TD passes. With 58 seconds left, Carter connected with Troy Lester to cut the lead to three, but that would be the closest they would ever get. Nicole Cody - starbear - if you will ki c ked a late field goal to preserve the victory. Coach Fots was not pleased with the defensive mistakes late in the game. "My 3rd grade teacher told me I should be a firewatcher when I grow up - and even though I was only 16 at the time, I knew I should be a teacher of football. I am disappointed with the letdown. Get me beer". An upset Fots turned his back to the media, put the microphone near his buttocks and proceeded to make a noise. A reporter mentioned to the coach "Hey you still won the game". Fots re sponded by saying "Hot damn...we did...that's it..I'm a miracle worker!". Next up the Redskins - a rematch of last years super bowl.

WEEK 6 - THE D'STER COMES THROUGH IN VICTORY OVER PATS 38-35

Bob Devlin known to teammates as "The D-Ste r" was 14 for 20, threw for 435 yards and 4 touchdowns. As always the wins never come easy. Hoboken used an agressive air attack early in the first quarter. Garth Iorg caught A Bob Devlin 72 yard bomb to launch the Wombats to a 7-0 lead, it was the only l e ad they would have until the final ten seconds of the game. It was the longest touchdown pass in Wombat history. The bend-not-break Hoboken defense fell apart on New England's first drive. Second year quarterback Drew Brees connected with wide receiver Ra n dy Moss to knot the score at 7. It was a long drive that chewed up the clock for almost 3 minutes. Both teams traded scores. The Patriots biggest was never more than a touchdown. Devlin, also known as the terminator - threw TD passes to Largent, Paul Fanc y and Stills. While Brees had TD's with Moss twice more and two touchdown runs by Muhammad. With 1:57 left in the contest coach Fots paid the referee (Ott Pantavong) an undisclosed amount of cash for no reason. Both Fots and Panatavong had no comment, but a fter the transaction was made, two very strange Unsportman like penalties occurred against New England. That set up the wonderful Nicole Cody for the game winning kick - a 28 yard one. The drama still did not end. With Hoboken leading 38-35, the Patriots h ad one more play. Five New England recievers lined up and ran deep. Drew Brees found Chris Lott wide open. Lott made the catch ran the ball all the way to the Wombat two yard line, only to be tackled by Big Douglas Dildo. The Wombats win again. I think we ' re talkin' Super Bowl - Just like the Philadelphia Eagles last year....oh wait sorry I must be confused with the Tampa Bay team....hmmmm!...GAME STATS: Devlin 14/20, 435 yards, 4 TD's....G.Iorg 297 yds receiving 1 TD reception....Paul Fancy 1 TD reception ....For New England: Brees 16/23, 399 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT....Randy Moss 6 receptions, 193 yards - 3 TD's.

WEEK 5 - AMERICA'S TEAM BEATS UP ON COWBOYS 28-19!

Bob Devlin connected with Garth Iorg five times for 213 yards and Ken Cody caught his first touchdown pass ever, in a Wombat 28-19 victory in Dallas yesterday. It wasn't easy as the Cowboys scored quickly. Mike McMahon threw a first quarter touchdown to Clyde Burress to give Dallas a 7-0 lead. It was a slow moving drive that lasted te n plays and nearly four minutes. After a Wombat missed field goal attempt, Dallas came down and threatened again but only settled for a field goal. Down ten points, Captain Devlin took command. "I was focused just like Joel Redle" Devlin told reporters. Re d le has IT experience, and worked for General Electric for many years. The comment stunned the media. James T. Gerner of the Atlanta Journal asked the next question to Devlin but it went too long, way too long and the press conference was forced to end. Co a ch Fots was proud of his players. "I love three things in life - food, hookers and winning - I tell you this winning thing is almost as good as a hooker". Fots then passed out, causes were unknown but he did have a twelve pack of Natural Light during the g ame. However he also had a "gas problem". Mike McMahon who played well in defeat was injured in the third quarter, he is expected to miss three weeks of action. The injury occurred when he put his protective cup on backwards. His groin is healing as we sp eak. The challenge of the season is upon us as the (5-1) Patriots take on your Wombats! next week.....GAME STATS: Devlin 9/15, 252 yards, 3 TD's....G.Iorg 213 yds receiving....Paul Fancy 2 TD receptions...For Dallas: McMahon 12/21, 195 yards, 1 TD.

WEEK 4 - HOBOKEN BLOWS LEAD BUT HANGS ON TO VICTORY 38-35!

Imagine the Hoboken Wombats having a relaxing, easy win. That was the case for three quarters as the Wombats built a 31-14 lead over their rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Everything was clic king, timely passing and solid defense. Bobby Devlin threw 2 TD passes, Johnny Blue Jeans Stemmler ran for a TD and Tubby Fatass added another rushing touchdown to give Hoboken a huge lead...Then everything fell apart. A touchdown pass by Quincy Carter st a rted the fourth quarter comeback. But Hoboken put together a drive of their own and was poised to score. But, Zander Williams picked off Knuckles Donner and ran 104 yards to bring Pittsburgh within three points and eventually they would take a lead on Ton y Lester's nine yard run. Looking at a devestating loss, Bobby Devlin re-entered the game and was the hero throwing the game winning pass to Steve Largent with only 22 seconds left, to secure a victory. "I caught the pass like catching a tax break" added L a rgent. Steve was a U.S. Representative in the House for two terms. "Remember it's the Republicians who route for the Wombats, and by the way, I was happy we won today". The Wombats next take on the Dallas Cowboys - and the question is...Will Corkeyes get revenge on Dallas? We'll see.

WEEK 3 - A WOMBAT OF A TIME IN A 31-28 VICTORY OVER THE BROWNS!

When Cleveland and Hoboken collide, all bets are off because anything can happen. This time the Wombats came back from a 11 point deficit, s coring three straight touchdowns in a 31-28 victory. Bobby Devlin threw for two touchdowns both to Steve Largent. John Stemmler and Tubby Fatass added rushing touchdowns. "It was a team effort" added Largent. "I know the fans were sad about last weeks los s , but sometimes in life sh*t happens". Bluejeans Stemmler was more upbeat "We won the game, I am a quick, spry runner - I want more money" "My new nickname is Johnny Rocket!". Owner Louie Louie had no comment about the chatter from Johnny "Bluejeans-Rocke t " Stemmler and Largent. He did say that the team looked like a hundred bucks this week. We still don't know if that's good or not. With a ten point lead Hoboken used backup players. It was the first game played by Troy Analcavity in his four year career a s a Wombat. When he ran onto the field, he fell and was injured. He was taken off the field in a stretcher. Troy said "I wasn't really hurt, I did it for dramatic effect...when you hear the crowd chant Analcavity, Analcavity - it was thrilling". Troy will b e benched next week. Two late touchdown runs gave the Wombats a 31-21 lead that the Browns could never catch up. Next week Pittsburgh rolls in to town. STATS: Devlin 8/19, 200 yards, 2 TD's....Fatass 40 yds rushing...Douglas Dildo 1 INT Pickoff....For Cl eveland: Couch 16/29, 223 yards, 3 TD's 1 INT.

WEEK 2 - MISSED OPPORTUNITY, AS HOBOKEN FALLS TO DOLPHINS 24-21 The Wombats let a 14-9 fourth quarter lead evaporate, had several questionable calls against them in a 24-21 loss to the Miami Dol phins in front of a sold out Marsupial Bowl on Bear-Ass Scratcher Day. The cagey Wombat defense would hold Miami to only three Matt Stover field goals until the final quarter, where both offenses came alive. Curtis Martin scored from ten yards out to giv e the Dolphins a 17-14 lead with 2:20 left. Hoboken began a drive which ended abprubtly when Bobby Devlin was picked off after a pass attempt to Garth Iorg went into the wrong hands. The score gave Miami a 24-14 lead and all but ended hope for the Wombats. Paul Fancy caught a touchdown pass with 28 seconds left to close the deficit to three. A last chance onside kick was caught by Chris Fama but referee Nate Crotchstench called a penalty against the Wombats for illegal procedure. On the replay it looked lik e the kick went ten yards before Fama recoved the ball, however the upstairs booth ignored reviewing the play. "Lots of fans came out on our home opener, they must be sad but hey...they got a Bear-Ass Scratcher, that's got to count" said Coach Fots. The Wo mbats take on Cleveland next week. Smell ya later! STATS: Bob Devlin was 10 of 20, 213 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT.....J.Stemmler rushed for 46 yards....For Miami, Carty was 11 for 18, 137 YDS......Martin rushed for 58 yards with 1 TD.

WEEK 1 - A WOMBAT IS STRONGER THAN A BRONCO, HOBOKEN WINS 24-17! Who really cares about the final score, but can an actual Wombat outsmart a Bronco? That is the question. The answer is: Yes, maybe in a game of cards or bowling but who will know? An yway enough of all this politics and back to the real story...Hoboken used a balanced passing and running game to defeat the Denver Broncos 24-17 in Colorado yesterday. Golden Girl Bea Arthur and comedian Andy Dick sang the national anthem in front of a s o ld out Mile High Stadium only to see their silly team lose to Hoboken. Robert Devlin also known as (B-Dog, Bobert-D, Mr. Philly and Super Bob) threw for 177 yards and a touchdown pass for the Wombats, who haven't lost a game yet this season. Hoboken is pe r fect with 1 win and 0 losses. "I think the season should end now. We are the champions" said coach Fots. "This water tastes like Vodka to me" added Binkus who coached his 30th victory as head coach. On the other side Denver had good games Devon Carter who ran for 55 yards and QB Brian Doberling who threw for 200 yards and a touchdown. John Stemmler added a touchdown run in the second quarter to give the Wombats a 10-7 lead that would never be given up. Stemmler added "I am the mack daddy of the pigskin - s h out out to my homies in Central NJ". Bud Syphillis, filling in for the injured Tubby Fatass, iced the victory with a late 4th quarter touchdown. All is happy in Wombatland. Dan Dehn added a sack on defense & Thomas Thomas (yes that is his name) caught an interception. The Wombats will have their season opener against the Miami Dolphins. The first 6 fans will get a free "Bear-Ass Scratcher" courtesy of The White Rose System - Remember White Rose - It's artery clogging time! - located somewhere near you.

SEASON FOUR BEGINS UNDER THE REIGN OF COACH FOTS Ask someone at a local bar this question...Do you think the Hoboken Wombats can win the Superbowl? You would probably get all different answers (most of them incoherent). That's what we did, as w e headed to Tenafly, New Jersey at a place called "The Elegant Lush Pub". We asked bar-goer Sally Strapon about her favorite team the Hoboken Wombats. "I route for them every game, that Derek Jeter can really hit the puck in the net" added Strapon. "I can ' t wait until they win the World Cup". Well, needless to say, Hoboken Wombats football needs a little more exposure. However, Bucky Nutrod is a true fan. "I watch all the games on Beta, even some on VHS...welcome to the 19th century, I usually can't watch a game live because i'm usually peeing myself or the other thing - but I'm a loyal fan". Key pick ups this season includes the dangerous Strong Safety, Harry Fagina Jr and All-Star Kermit The Frog. "I like our chances, and I ask you, can the frog run, oh y es Kermit can run...he's a bit green but he'll learn fast" mentioned coach Fots. Only time will tell, but Hoboken looks to get back to the Superbowl, a task that won't be easy.

2004-05 SEASON

A TOUGH ONE, REDSKINS WIN SUPERBOWL 23-20 IN OT In a battle which no team deserved to lose, Hoboken ended up on the losing end of a 23-20 overtime loss. A question that will be asked all season, should Coach Fots gone for it in OT when it was 4th down and 10, at the Redskins 42 yard li ne. "A field goal was too far, and you never know if you would get the ball again" said a depressed Fots. "We have a good core, next year we'll even be better!" added Binkus. "Let me go home and down a few brewski's" said Fots as he left the press area. T h e Wombats held the lead only once, late in the third quarter. The teams traded field goals, while Nicole Cody kicked a game tying field goal with only 2 seconds left in regulation. Bobby D was solid going 12 for 26, 242 yards, 2 TD passes. Tubby Fatass ra n for 38 yards, John Stemmler ran for 16 yards, while his brother Fancy, caught seven passes for 123 yards. Garth Iorg and Steve Largent also contributed making several catches. Next year is sooner than you think - in the Play Station 2 World! Look for mor e updates soon!!!!

January 24, 2005 - IT'S TIME FOR THE SUPERBOWL!!!!! GO WOMBATS!!!! The Washington Redskins are about to be baffled as they take on our HOBOKEN WOMBATS! in the Superbowl. "We are up to the challenge" said Coach Fots. He also ad ded "I need a six pack or whisky, the stress is getting to me". Wombat kicker, Nicole Cody is getting focused for the superbowl battle. Nicole talked to us saying "We can beat them" she added "I am the bear - bear Cody". Paul Fancy is pumped. "We won't l o se, I smell a championship...oops, I farted". The fans are excited too. This is the biggest sporting event to hit Jersey since the Devils won the Stanley Cup in 2000. It is estimated that 3 or 4 people will watch this event on tape-delay. The halftime sho w will feature the Duquesne Drama Club re-enacting the football season. Also Wally Wombat will breakdance. QB Bobby Devlin is looking forward to the challenge. "Let's win the game, relax and win it again next year". Devlin is certain of victory on Sunday, i n fact he bet a large amount of money earlier this week. The Vegas odds have the Wombats as two point favorites, either way the game is expected to be close. The game is set for Friday the 18th, or Sunday the 20th. We will bring you more as events warrant .

GAME NOTES: Nicole Cody is the best. Five Wombats have a chance to make the Pro Bowl...Bob Devlin, Tubby Fatass, Paul Fancy are likely, while Chris Fama & Douglas Dildo have outside chances.

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