WOMBATS MERCHANDISE

LIMITED SUPPLIES LEFT! To be a coach you have to be SHARP. Coach Fots also knows that you need PENCILS to write with. What does being sharp and pencils have in common? THE COACH BINKUS FOTS NOSE SHARPENER. Ooh! it's on sale! Hand crafted from the finest plastic ever made from Iceland, this is a pure delight. Endorsed by the coach himself and by pencil fans across the world. Don't miss out, you freak! and WRITE your way to happiness.

GET ONE FOR THE KIDS! Everytime when Paul Fancy walks on the field he wears his favorite jersey - it says it all. Are you ready to wear what the pros wear? You bet your bippie (ass) you do! Be a champion like Paul Fancy and bring "the bitch" home! Made from the finest fabric found in Maine and Greenland also parts of Uganda this shirt is priceless. Fans, listen up...Do you want to be a winner? Or are you a loser who smells like fart and vomit? I think you are a winner - get this shirt and support your team! If not it's your loss. The team will probably move because you didn't get this shirt...Don't let Fancy down and the whole Wombat organization....This great shirt is yours for only $2,499.95 - Autographed by the bitch himself! Get ready to be the star in your overly expensive t-shirt, that really only cost pennies to make.
FANCY BITCH
T-SHIRT

BON JOVI AND GARY BUSEY TEAM UP FOR "SHIRTS FOR A CAUSE" Every Wombat t-shirt and sweater puchased will benefit the non-profit organization called "Shirts For A Cause". 1/8 of every penny will be sent directly to "SFAC". SFAC benefits people who suffer from post-nasal drip. With your help we can end the suffering of "phelmy throat" and "icky mucus". Even though rocker BON JOVI likes Philly more than Hoboken, Mr. Jovi agreed to promote the new line of Hoboken merchandise if we mentioned that his new album has come out and he loves hair. You'll be "Wanted Dead Or Alive" while wearing this sweater. Hurry it's as popular as those "8-ball" jackets in the eighties. Only $3,500 each! You are saying $3,500...that's a lot of money. Well if you like and support Wombat football you will buy it and love it! GARY BUSEY (on the right) Is wearing a lovely t-shirt labeled "I'm a crazy bastard who loves the WOMBATS". Mr. Busey is proud to throw his support for finding a remedy for post-nasal drip. "Post nasal has bothered me for years so has vodka, I'm glad to help". Gary is currently filming a movie in the Caroline Islands called "I'm Gary and I Smell Like Flowers". The shirt is only $24.95 but if you act now you can get a used one that Gary wore with vomit stains for only $9.95 - "Wow".

ALL ABOUT MAESTRO Want to learn more about Hoboken Wide Receiver...Owen "The Maestro" McGowan? This book written by someone who never met Owen explains his life of football, ladies and his dream of becoming a chef. From the author that brought you "Shoe Polish for Kids" and "Pull My Finger - The History Of Flatulence" brings you this epic. From Owen's early days as a welder in the Czech Republic, to his stints on "Who's The Boss", this author who never met "The Maestro" tells all. We go deep into Owen's life as a hero, football star and his brief romance with "Tootie" from the Facts of Life. What ended their romantic three day relationship? (Hint: Blair Warner - that hussy). Go on a journey of the world with Owen, as he visits Guam and teaches the fine art of tapdancing to the locals. We learn why the name change in the late 70's from Jerome "The Living Afro" Head to the Owen we know today. Don't forget his five year ambition to become a pottery genius. It's all here! It's one bitchin' story that will make your nipples hard.
MAESTRO McGOWAN
TELL ALL BOOK

Tell your friends! Wake up the kids! Look out...it's bobblehead mania hitting the Hoboken region! Your favorites are all here! On the top row (left to right)....BOBBY "COORS" ROSENBERG....BOBBY "D" DEVLIN....KNUCKLES DONNER....PAUL FANCY....JOHN "BLUEJEANS" STEMMLER.

That's not all...On the bottom row (left to right)....MARKY DIGIACOMO....SCOOTER VIGNUOLO....MAESTRO "SILKY" McGOWAN....NICOLE "T.T" CODY...."THE GAPPER" WALT STEMMLER.

Buy them before supplies run out. Each comes beautifully crafted from the Danbury Mint. Each detail, is breath-taking. Collect them all today! Because if you don't it will be a travesty. Each cost only $9.08 but they are priceless, just like the time you recently had the runs...priceless! Hurry Bobbleheads are running out! Makes a great stocking stuffer or ornament. Put it on the dashboard. Show your team pride!....Warning long exposure to Wombat Bobbleheads dolls may make you dizzy, giddy and can cause shingles - I don't know why but trust us.

LADIES SUPPORT YOUR WOMBATS WITH THE NEW ASSCOVER & SWINGTOP! Hey Ladies! you love the Wombats, why not wear them? This new adventureous outfit is designed to be worn anywhere! Wear it to the office, bring it to family get-togethers and even shovel snow in it. For only $79.95 this two piece set is yours. Act now while supplies last! (Click on model to see a closer view) It's about time you celebrate almost naked and support your team!!! No worries too! Your nipples will be covered to the fullest extent so no weirdos will stare at you. Bring the Wombats to a new level with this trendy gift! It's time to bring sexy back.